If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, Id buy you a house
I would buy you a house
(Sorry Sweetie, a million dollars just doesn’t go as far as it used to. You have to admit though the view is great.)
And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Id buy you furniture for your house
Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman
(Or how about a good deal on a wood stove. You know using wood warms you twice.)
And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, Id buy you a K-Car
A nice reliant automobile
And if I had a million dollars, Id buy your love
(I know it doesn’t look that great Sweetie but it runs great and has good rubber.)
If I had a million dollars
Id build a tree-fort in our yard
If I had a million dollars you could help
It wouldnt be that hard
(I’d like to build you a tree fort but the tree is not cooperating.)
If I had a million dollars
Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge
In there somewhere
We could just go up there and hang out
Like open the fridge and stuff
And thered all be foods laid out for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things
(I promise, once I get the oven working, I’ll start on the fridge. I mean right after I write a post about fixing the oven.)
They have pre-wrapped sausages
But they dont have pre-wrapped bacon
Well, can you blame them?
Yeah
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, Id buy you a fur a coat
But not a real fur coat, thats cruel
(Well, the bare chested PETA girls that came to town last year don’t really like fur coats, or soooo they sayyyyyy!) (This photo is for the pervs that showed up looking for one thing and decided to stay for a while. You guys can go now.)
And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, Id buy you an exotic pet
Yep, like a llama or an emu
(How about a centipede, we already have too many big critters in the house.)
And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, Id buy you John Merricks remains
All them crazy elephant bones
And if I had a million dollars Id buy your love
If I had a million dollars
We wouldnt have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars
Wed take a Limousine cause it costs more
(Well you know it is colorful. Problem is that the color, symbol, and slogan are probable causes for everything from conspiracy to jaywalking on up.)
If I had a million dollars
We wouldnt have to eat Kraft dinner
But we would eat Kraft dinner
(Or a foot long coney, the PETA girls wouldn’t want that either, or sooo theyyyy sayyy!!! Remaining pervs can leave now. Please!!)
Of course we would, wed just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
Thats right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups
(That is as fancy as it gets around here.)
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, Id buy you a green dress
But not a real green dress, thats cruel
(I mean really, who wears green dresses? Green is not even a color, its a mixture of colors.)
And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, Id buy you some art
A Picasso or a Garfunkel
(How do you like it Sweetie! Isn’t it grand! We’ll put it by the television, yes in our house. Uh uh, yes the living room. What do you mean return it? It’s a work of art! A million bucks doesn’t get you a Picasso anymore Sweetie!)
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, Id buy you a monkey
Havent you always wanted a monkey?
If I had a million dollars Id buy your love
(Uh, well yeah, he might could fix the oven faster than I am, but I bet you that he doesn’t have a blog. What do you mean that that is a big plus?)
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Id be rich
(Hey, I am rich without the million dollars)
Songwriters: Ed Robertson, Steven Page