Tag Archives: Tulsa Parade of Homes

The Secret to Selling a Million Dollar Home – Tulsa Parade of Homes 2017

Let me guess, you have a little cash saved up, you have some investors that believe in you, and you want to make some money. You want to make it quick!! And you want to do it by building and selling houses but you don’t want to mess around with little houses. You want to sell big houses. After it is a lot easier to build one million dollar house and sell it than four quarter million dollar houses, right?

Well I like the way you think and so I am going to tell you what the most important thing in building and selling big houses is. I am going to do it for free, because that is the kind of guy II am.

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Wait!! you say, I know all about that. The most important thing is the kitchen!! Well you know, kitchens are very important. They really are. People gravitate toward the kitchen because that is where the heart of the house is, right. So focus on the kitchen, make everything high end. Right!!

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And the higher end the better. Get some brass on those fixtures. That’ll do it.

Sorry, no it won’t. For a lot of people, the kitchen is where the beer is. Sorry to burst your bubble.

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Or maybe you think. Dazzle with stuff like gigantic ceiling fans that look like those that powered the NASA wind tunnels. Oh yeah, those are nice but you are putting me to sleep.

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Or you say, nice fireplaces, beautiful wood floors, Yeah, well everybody has those.

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Or you say swimming pools, with hot tubs!!! I say Yawn. Who uses their swimming pool after three months?

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Hey, you think it is about wine cellars?? Yeah, wine cellars. And I say, wine is made to drink, not sit in its own room.

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Or look you might tell me, bold design in the kitchen!!

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And the bedroom!!! And I ask who is going to dust all that? And who is going to repaint it when they tired of your bold design. I was tired when I saw it.

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Or technology you tell me. Great big refrigerators!! That’s the ticket. Let me tell you about refrigherators. Most people with a life have whatever refrigerator they own clear full. If they own a small refrigerator, it is full. If they own a big refrigerator, it is full also. If you want a bigger refrigerator, that means that you haven’t cleaned yours out recently. Clean it out, and then you will have lots of room. There, I have saved you a fortune. Thank me in the comments.

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Or you might say, nice outdoor spaces is what people want!! And I say, why. I had a guy I used to work with tell me that when he was a kid people pooped outside and ate inside. No they poop inside and eat outdoors. You tell me sense that makes? Especially in big houses.

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Or you might say, Movie rooms!!! I am will put in big movie rooms. And I say, seriously? who lives like that. Most people I know watch television and movies in their living rooms. Most “movie rooms” are upstairs. Away from the beer. So if I want another cold one I have to walk downstairs and to the kitchen and rummage through the supersize fridge and then trudge back upstairs. For that I am going to pay a million bucks? Nope,not me.

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You say, this is Oklahoma, tornado alley, A safe room, that is the ticket!! And I would say that now you are getting closer. How embarrassing to die in a tornado in your million dollar McMansion because you don’t have  a safe room. Good call I will say to you.

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And don’t get into the fancy bathroom fixtures. Yawn, you are boring me. And just how am I supposed to keep it clean anyway.

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Or how about fancy translucent garage doors!! I am really going to sleep now. Who cares?????

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Or fancy scroll work on the front door? Oh yeah, great idea genius, give me a solid wood or steel door with a peep hole any day.

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Or how about swoopy elegant stairways you tell me!!?? Oh yeah sure I say. Let me tell you about million dollar plus houses. They all have higher ceilings which means that your stairs are longer.  Don’t whine at me about it, the more money you spend, the more stairs you get to climb. If I have the cash for such a huge house, it is going to be one story.

I can tell you are not getting it so let me explain it to you with three letters.

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Sex sells and you do that in the bathroom with gigantic multi-person tubs designed for recreational bathing.

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Are you seeing what I mean? Are you hearing what I am saying?

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Like this, a two person shower.

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Or tubs right in front of windows with a spotlight.

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Or frosted glass for the shy ones.

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Or a big old giant picture window!! Opening onto a sloping lawn. I think this tub comes with diving board, trapeze, and pole options. For the more adventurous.

Are you getting it now? I think you are.  I won’t charge you a thing.

Apologies to the Home Builders Association of Greater Tulsa. This week is their Parade of Homes. Go check them out. Lots of beautiful homes on display.

McMansions on Display at the Tulsa Parade of Homes

It was hot this past weekend and looking for some indoor activity Heather and I decided to go check out the Tulsa Parade of Homes put on by the Tulsa Home Builder’s Association. And we decided we go seek out the the big houses, the McMansions. Just to see what is popular with the 1%.  Well guess what we found!

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Their are some really, really big houses out there. This little jewel above is about $1.6 million but is already sold. I would say this thing sprawls. If we had it I would definitely have to have a riding lawn mower, with a drink cup holder.

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As you can see the 99% were thronging to check these houses out. See them thronging out there.  Thronging is generally not allowed in these gated communities with “courtesy patrols.”  The courtesy patrollers were eyeballing my 6 year old Kia Soul.

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Some of the houses were truly spectacular.

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And big ole cozy bedrooms with sitting areas.

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And you know something, the 1% love their bathrooms. They are huge and have huge tubs and showers like the three person model above.

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And this odd looking thing with the fireplace. There were more than one with this see through fireplace between the bedroom and bathroom. Wouldn’t work in our house where I get up at 5:15 in the morning and Heather gets up, well she gets up when she is darned good and ready.

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And speaking of Heather, here she is checking out a three person shower. Complete with a picture window. I mean why not? Of course, I’m thinking, “How are you ever going to keep that window clean?”

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And of course the 1% love nice thrones.

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And really nice outdoor areas and kitchens. Kind of reminds me of an old oilfield guy I used to work with in western Oklahoma. He said when he was a kid, you went outside to use the privy and cooked inside and now you go to the bathroom inside and cook outside. He wasn’t sure that that civilization had advanced very far.

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The 1% love their televisions. They are everywhere. We have two, and only watch one.

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And closets, huge closets, with lots of storage and storage technology.

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And big three and four car garages with nice floors. 

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And big beautiful kitchens.

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And big ginormous refrigerators. Look at this thing, freezer on one side, refrigerator on the other and a beer-ator that some dummy has stocked with wine.

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And the poor old 1%. I hate stairs and the these McMansions have really tall ceilings which means they have big stairs. How does that work where you spend a million bucks and you have to climb stairs. 

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They are beautiful though.

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We saw some really nice studys. With nice paneling and bookshelves.

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A big feature this year is interesting flooring in the study.

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And the 1% has big gamerooms, with bars and smaller beer-ators.

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Theater Rooms are still popular. I don’t quite get it. I watch movies in the family room and I’m happy for everybody else to be there with me. It drives the kid crazy, “Logan, what are you doing!” I am known to yell, “Hanging out!” he yells back and I then tell him to come out hang out with us.. Am I a control freak?

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These movie rooms come loaded with a closet full of electronics. Uh, how long is that stuff going to last is what I say? The 1% just have the guys come out and fix it.

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One movie room had a viewing loft, good grief!! was my thought. Viewing lofts and teenagers are not a good combination is what I say.

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And of course pools! The 1% is not going to go to the county rec center when they want to cool off. They want to do it at home. Although some of the tubs in the bathrooms are almost as big as tubs.

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I could do a pool. My favorite pool is a friend’s pool who invites us over. That hasn’t happened in a while though.

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And these houses are big. Who wants to clean those things. That is me way down there.

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This house didn’t allow photographs. I figured out why once we got in. There was nothing to see really!! I wouldn’t want photographs either if I owned it. Your friends would be going “You spend a million bucks on this, really?” Sad, to be a 1% guy who gets taken by his builder.

Anyway, we had lots of fun. But I will take my house.