Category Archives: Stupidity

Suicide by Bird Poop

Part of Geocaching is monitoring your caches. This is done mainly by monitoring the logs that people write when they find your cache. SuperPizzaBoy and I have a cache downtown “One Degree of Separation: Boys Night Out” between the Doubltree Hotel and the Convention Center. Lots of out of towners staying at the hotel or attending the convention have found it.

I got concerned when I noticed the last two logs.
I know that they are kind of hard to read but basically they are not very complimentary about the condition of the cache. So I temporarily disabled the cache and went out at lunch today to check it out.

What I found was my cache totally covered in white bird poop. Normally I would “plug and abandon” as we oilfield trash say but hey I paid $5.79 for the container at Walmart. I need to salvage it. So I pull it out and carry it back to the office. The office is about 4 blocks away and the more I walked the more the container stank. I got to wondering just how I was going to do this. If I got on the elevator with the thing it would stink things up. I didn’t take a picture of the cache because I didn’t want my hands to touch any part of me by this time but the last log included the picture below. It doesn’t really do it justice:

I developed a plan so I went to the office and went downstairs to a large public restroom. I went and started washing the thing off. It stank up the whole room, but you know, $5.79 is a lot of money, especially with natural gas prices the way they are. I finally decided to take the camo duck tape off. It wouldn’t tear off so I pulled out my trusty swiss army knife and was working on it when the blade slipped on the bird poop and I stabbed by left index finger.

How embarrassing. Especially as a former assistant Cub Scout Den Leader. The shame, the humiliation, and oh, the blood. The blood was going everywhere. I also realized that the blade was soaked in bird poop. Not exactly an aboriginal antiseptic, I don’t think. So I cleaned the wound out as best I could and packed it with paper towels held in place by my thumb. And then I finished cleaning up the container because you know $5.79 is a lot of money.

So I finally got the duck tape off and tossed it in the trash and by now the restroom really stunk, bad, (caused by the same stuff that got injected in my finger) and the people coming and going were looking at me as I was cleaning the blood, bird poop, and bits of camo duck tape out of the sink.

So I took everything upstairs. I went over to our first aid cabinet and collected some disinfectant wipes, neosporin, and a couple bandages and went to a coworker and he doctored me up.
Here is some more photos. First, the cleaned up, duck taped removed, still fragrant, $5.79 cache container.

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The not so sharp instrument.

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The finger.

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Hey, does anybody know if birdpoop can kill you?

PS – I archived the cache. I’m not going through this again. But I’m going to reuse the container. Save me $5.79 and tax.