Sweetie and I recently saw The Tourist with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie.
Jolie’s character is a really beautiful woman who likes to hang out with bad guys. When I saw beautiful I mean she is Luscious. Definitely not the girl next door. Depp’s character describes her as ravenous. She says you mean “ravishing” and he says yes, but I know he meant ravenous because she is fixing to eat him and spit him out.
Johnny Depp is all growns up now but still has bad hair. I mean awful. I thought Hollywood has all those high fashion $400 a pop stylists. Don’t you think that he could go to the same guys that work on John Edwards and Bill Clinton. Jeez Louise, the Day Center for the Homeless right here in Tulsa, Oklahoma gives better haircuts than Depp gets.
Anyway, this movie has both bad guys and good guys looking for Jolie’s beau. She picks out Depp on a train and tries to make the bad and good guys think that he is the beau. Depp plays this sad sack, widower, loser math teacher who somehow thinks this beautiful English woman wants him. You can tell by looking at him that he is a typical liberal Democrat loser.
You know the concept, the corrupt European’s trying to sully the pure naive American. It has been going on for years. Anyway he puts up with a lot of crap from Jolie, and Scotland Yard, and the bad guys until he has had enough. Then he’s like Rambo without guns, kicks some butt, takes names, grabs his woman and heads off into the sunset to become a manly Sarah Palin Republican.
The movie has plot holes a mile wide but I don’t really care. It is beautifully filmed, Jolie is absolutely stunning and just steals the show.
I give it three stars out of four, it is well worth seeing.
I wanted this to be good, & I like both actors but the trailer makes it seem so bad.
Though now, after reading your hilarious review, I have to see this.
I haven’t been to a movie in years! But you have made me curious!! You are good at that! Thanks for the review, as always, and as always, have a great weekend!
Sylvia
The “sarah Palin republican” reference has me a little worried, but I definitely want to see this. I’m going more for the Johnny Depp ravishing-ness, though, not so much the Angelina Jolie thing.
Hmmmm, okay, so make it sound better than all the pub that it’s been getting. I saw Depp on Letterman a couple weeks ago talking about the movie. It was an interesting interview, he’s an interesting guy, kinda liked him, but I’m not a Jolie fan. I’ll probably wait until this is on HBO or On Demand. Great review, tho.
Looks like some nice locations too, I want to see this so thanks for the review. And Yogi, I think I speak on behalf of many females, it’s not his hair we’re looking at!!
Yeah, every time I go to Europe I get these sultry European women trying to sully my naive liberal arse. It is such a drag. It would take a lot tho to convert me to a Sarah Palin Republican.
I have never even noticed Johnny Depp’s hair because I am always too busy looking at the rest of him! I have been wanting to see this and not because of Angelina Jolie 🙂 Thanks for the review!
Yay!I’m glad you thought it was good. I want to see this one.
Yay!I’m glad you thought it was good. I want to see this one.
Sure is clear where you stand on Jolie and Depp’s do. When I see him for lunch tomorrow, I’ll tell him you said that and take him to my favorite scissorhands.
Well, I adore Angelina..so of course I have to watch it! Thanks for the scoop!