My Nightmare starring the Tooth Fairy, Smokey Bear, Flat Baloney and her Bunnies

Just in time for Halloween, I have a hair raising tale. You are not going to believe. But its true. Every word of it.

It all started with my sweet son, SuperPizzaBoy. Isn’t he cute. Well he had a tooth come out and so we wrapped it all up and put it under his pillow. Just like people have been doing for thousands of years.

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So we all went to bed. I couldn’t sleep so I got up to get a drink of water and maybe do a blog post, so I took my camera into the living room to download some photos to my laptop. Big mistake, I mean huge. This is where all my troubles started. Guess who or what I ran into?

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Look familiar? It should because its the legendary Tooth Fairy! I am not supposed to see the Tooth Fairy and she is not supposed to be seen. She panicked. You can tell that she was trying to play possum and she tried to mesmerize me with her tractor beam eyes. It kind of worked, I guess.

Somehow, we figured out that to break the spell on both us I had to take her alter ego, Flat Baloney, on a trip. To find Smokey Bear and some bunnies, and then hide Flat Baloney with the bunnies. Don’t ask me, it made sense at the time.

She handed over her alter ego, Flat Baloney.

Yeah, I thought so also. Handing over a buck naked alter ego to a total stranger. Nice. So I had to whip up an outfit for Flat Baloney. She knew exactly what she wanted and she was so happy and appreciative of the result. First though before we went looking for Smokey Bear she and I went to Target. FB wanted to listen to Lady Gaga while we went on our adventure.

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You should have heard her squawk! Scared me half to death. “Yogeeee!” Oh, sorry FB! Pardon me.

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What do you think of the outfit. FB loved it. She is a big University of Texas fan. She said that the Tooth Fairy is also, but hides it. Well, I’ve outed her now. This blog is about the Truth! Its okay Tooth Fairy. Lots of people are Texas fans. Not too many went to the University of Oklahoma though. Or as FB called it “The University of Texas at Norman.” Ever notice that most of the Sooner players are from Texas? Sad.

So, off we went driving around the countryside looking for Smokey Bear. I mean I like Lady Gaga and all that but FB kept saying “Yogeeee, I want a lemon drop marteeeneeeee!” I kept saying FB, I don’t have lemon drop martinis. Didn’t stop her though!

And then all the sudden, on a back road in the country. “Yogeeee Stop!” FB screamed. “There’s  Smokeeee!”

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Sure enough it was the fire fighting Bear himself.

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We got out and stretched out legs a little bit while Smokey told us how to find the Bunnies. FB was so excited to be out and about in the woods. She said that the Tooth Fairy never took her to the woods.

So off we went to find the Bunnies. At the exact coordinates, she spotted where they might be. “Right there Yogeeee!,” “See it!”

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We opened up to a chorus of “Flat Baloneeee!!!” by these talking Bunnies. FB jumped out of my shirt pocket and nestled up with the Bunnies, cooing, “I love Bunneeeees.”

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I asked her “You sure Flat B? Its awful lonely out here with just Bunnies for company and tupperware for a house.” She said, “Oh yes Yogeeee, this is my dream come true.” I said OK Flat B. So I left here there and walked the three miles back to the highway.

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So somehow, the Tooth Fairy and I have been freed from the curse. I’m not sure what the curse was or why leaving FB with some plastic bunnies did anything. But it worked.

If you are ever walking down a deep woods trail miles from anywhere in a State Park in eastern Oklahoma and hear “Bunneee, I want a lemon drop marteeneee.” Don’t be scared. Its just Flat Baloney living her dream. And just realize that you are one of the few that know that truth about the Tooth Fairy. Do me a favor though. Don’t say anything to her if Oklahoma is beating Texas. Deep down her heart is hurtin’ when her beloved Longhorns are losin.’.

Go check out the Tooth Fairy’s blog. Especially if you are fellow Texas Longhorn fan. She’d love to hear a “Hook’em Horns!” from you.

That's Baloney

9 thoughts on “My Nightmare starring the Tooth Fairy, Smokey Bear, Flat Baloney and her Bunnies

  1. Sylvia K

    What a hoot! Sure started my day with a big laugh! Can always use one of those, that’s for sure! Are you sure you aren’t geocaching in your sleep, too??? And, yes, I hope the Tooth Fairy remembered to attend to SPB’s tooth, too!! Hope all of you — including the TF, have a great weekend!!

    Sylvia

  2. Coffeypot

    Man…flashback to the 70’s…I use to see stuff like this all the time when I … uh … experiminted … ummm … tested … heard about drugs.

    Thanks for the freak-out.

  3. Sunny

    OMG! Did you eat a lot of cheese before you went to bed? LOL! I always have nightmares if I eat cheese late at night!
    The picture of SPB is priceless 🙂
    ☼ Sunny

  4. Barb

    Hi Yogi, I came and read your FB Tooth Fairy scary story over the weekend, but was frightened by the implications, so had to think about it a little before commenting. First of all – NEVER show SPB the pic of the Tooth Fairy – he will be scarred for life. Second, even mentioning FB could cause SPB to worry that his Dad has a screw loose (pardon the expression, but I’m trying to be truthful, here…). If I were you, I would bar theTooth Fairy completely from your home and just cough up some cash for under SPB’s pillow. Lastly, don’t eat before bed!

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