Category Archives: Totally Made Up Stuff

New Years Eve Geocaching – Finding Tom’s Turkey Mountain Homestead – Finally!!

#turkeymountain #moonshinershack #geocaching didn't find it #tulsa #oklahoma #igersok

There is a geocache named Tom’s Turkey Mountain Homestead located at an old Moonshiner’s Camp on Turkey Mountain. I have been looking for this cache a long time. The owner of the cache, kimbotjr, finally took mercy on me, or got tired my whining, and gave me a clue. I didn’t know when I was going to be able to get back up there because our weekends are pretty full and it is dark after work. Luckily though we got let our early at work on New Year’s Eve. So off I went in my work clothes.

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I did change my shoes though. But otherwise I was the sharpest guy on the mountain on New Year’s Eve. Especially the hat.

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The shadows were getting long so I didn’t have time to waste to use my precious clue.

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Every time I’m up there I see things that I can’t explain. Don’t ask me what is going on here cuz I don’t know.

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I had the clue but providence provided me with another aid to find the cache. Meet my new friend Soshie. Believe me or not but Soshie is no regular basset hound, he is a gold sniffing dog. That’s right, he can sniff out gold. Plus he likes me. So what the heck I took him along. I don’t know if that is cheating or not. My friend Trail Zombie used a metal detector to find this very same cache. If that is legal then using a gold sniffing dog is legal also. And probably not any help if there is no gold in the cache. Plus the cache is supposed to be a microcache, so it is pretty small.

Well guess what, we got there at the cache site and Soshie found the cache. Yes, he did and it was not a micro. Look at what we found.

Walking in #downtowntulsa #tunnels today I found where all the money is kept #bank #vault

The cache was as big as a bank vault! And loaded with gold. The site was not a moonshiner’s cabin. It was a gold mine. I found the lost treasure of Turkey Mountain! I don’t know how I missed it! Now, the cache is a mystery cache and posting pics of the cache is a nono but I hope that kimbotjr is understanding. If he is not he can delete my find. A find is worth a lot more than gold to a geocacher.

Welcome to the Party

Hey how about a Halloween Party? You up for it?

Teddy and CameraMan 2

Meet CameraMan and Teddy Roosevelt – they like parties!

Wicked Witch

Hey the wicked witch!! Except this one is nice.

Skullman

How about Mr. Skull’s perfect teeth. Makes for a beautiful smile!

Ghoul

A ghoul with two heads – you know it is not polite to stare!

Amazing Zelda

Ah yes, the Amazing Zelda- the Fortune Teller – if You Dare. She doesn’t have good news for everybody.

Watch where you sit

Hey, we don’t want you to leave!! Have a seat! Yes, that one there. We made it just for you.

Monster Cookie

Have a bite to eat! Don’t you like our cookies? You don’t really want to upset the baker. You really don’t.

Graveyard

You don’t want to leave now do you? We are about to have ever so much fun.

First Annual Woolaroc Pioneer Woman Wet T Shirt Contest

Saturday, I ventured up to Frank Phillip’s ranch in Osage County (You know old Frank, the guy who started Phillips Petroleum Right?) to run in the Woolaroc 8K road race. Woolaroc is an acronym for “Woods, Lakes, and Rocks) and is the name that Mr. Phillips gave to the ranch. He is long since passed but there are lots of animals and a museum of art on the property.

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I did my typical antics. I love taking pictures of people taking pictures. I was too late here, but I caught them looking at the image on the LCD screen.

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I just took one picture of the race. You lose a lot of time taking pictures during a race, and it was raining. So I took just this one with my Ipod.

When you finish the race, and eat your banana, and get your Powerade they allow you into the museum for free. Not too many runners were in the museum and that is a good thing because a shocking thing was going on. The First Annual Pioneer Woman Wet Tee Shirt Contest. Sponsored by RHOC, the “Real Housewives of Osage County”. They are a wild bunch, nothing like the RHOK (“Real Housewives of Oklahoma”) who spend their time in churchly duties such as prayer, hymn singing,  Bible study, martini drinking, and sewing clothes for the poor.

The RHOC ladies organized the event and got the services of four judges.

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Frank Phillips himself, of course it is his place, so you gotta ask him right?

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Geronimo made the trip from Fort Sill.

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(Will Rogers by Bryan Baker)

Oklahoma’s favorite son Will Rogers agreed to be a judge.Man, wouldn’t you like to hear what he thinks of Paul Ryan and Joe Biden?

Sugar for the Trail
(Sugar for the Trail by Joe Beeler)

And they picked a cowboy because, well because this is Oklahoma and you have to have a cowboy and Garth Brooks was busy. The problem was the cowboy was caught in a compromising position with one of the contestants (who yeah big surprise, if you know cowboys) who was obviously trying to influence his vote. So they were both disqualified! The lady reminds me of Miss Kitty on Gunsmoke. I don’t know about you but my childhood was ruined when I realized that Miss Kitty was a hooker. Well, I’m digressing. Sorry.

Well, I won’t go through all the contestants. You know Pioneer Women were not known for their beauty generally,except to their husbands and kids.

Jim Norris and wife, homesteaders, Pie Town, New Mexico (LOC)

So without further adieu, here are the winners. The 3rd runner up!

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(Pioneer Woman by Bryant Baker)

A quite attractive, nice young woman. Her bonnet and boots are especially fetching don’t you think. Nothing like a woman who knows how to tie leather laces nice and tight.

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(Pioneer Woman by H.A. McNeil)

The Second Runner Up, very lovely, even with the bare feet. I have to tell you though that the axe she carried was a little intimidating. You can see that her son likes her, a lot!

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(Pioneer Woman by Arthur Lee)

The Runner Up featured a typical pioneer woman’s dress that protects her from the hot Oklahoma sun in the summer and our snowy, windy, cold winters. Plus she was exceptionally modest as her dress covered her completely down to her ankles. It is such a shame that young women these days seem to have this need to show everything they have.

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(Pioneer Woman by James E. Fraser)

You know the winner had a lot to do Saturday and saw what she needed to do to win the contest and just went ahead and did it. She had to go get groceries, pick up some dry cleaning, clean the house, and cook dinner so she went All In, or maybe I should say All Out. I think the judges rewarded her pioneering spirit and her willingness to just cut to the chase. 

So, do you think the judges pick the right woman? 

I’m linking up with my friend Impulsive Addict’s Talk to Us Tuesday.


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The Next Big Thing in Medicine is Small

If you don’t think that Tulsa is at the forefront of medical research and breakthroughs you’d be wrong. The latest trend in family medicine got its start right here in the homeland.

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You may think that it looks like an old time British phone box. It does look like that but it is actually a complete doctor’s office. Don’t believe me? Well look for yourself.

Telephone Box Medical Sign

See?

Think about it. Rents are high, rents are paid by the square feet, minimize the square feet, minimize the rent, reduce the cost to the patient  increase doctor’s take home.

Waiting rooms you ask? Wait in your car. You’ll be parked right outside. It’s kind of small you thnk? How much room do you need? If the doctor needs more room, he can open the door and you can both step outside? Why all the glass? Cuts down on the electric bill.

What about modesty and privacy? Hah! Aren’t you the one who blogged about your colonoscopy? Posted about passing gas on facebook? Puhlease give me a break on your modesty. Besides, are you really sick or not?

There are lots of advantages if you think about it. You want to know if the doctor is in? Just take a look. You want to know what’s wrong with that nice looking person that had appointment in front of you? Step up to the window and find out for yourself. You might learn something. It might be something you saw on Grey’s Anatomy last night so you can just tap on the glass and let them know. Crowd sourced medicine, very edgy, very cool.

Good old American know how and that can do attitude. You heard about it here first.

I’m participating today with my friend Impulsive Addict and her Talk to Us Tuesday linkup that she and her friend Shawn manage. I am not sure that it is for guys to join in, but I’m doing it anyway.

The Tulsa Paranormal Investigation Team checks out the Ghost of Thomas Gilcrease

The Tulsa Paranormal Investigation Team (“TPIT”) has been reading “Tulsa’s Haunted Memories” by Teri French about the various ghosties and such that are haunting areas in the Tulsa area and we have decided to start checking things out. Our first assignment was to check out the Thomas Gilcrease Mansion on the grounds of Tulsa’s Gilcrease Museum.

Here is TPIT’s chief investigator, SuperPizzaBoy. You can tell by his folded arms that he doesn’t believe in ghosts.

Gilcrease House 7

Supposedly Mr. Gilcrease floats, so to speak, between the Museum, his old house, and the gardens. Ms. French reports a high turnover among the guards. I can understand the house is old and looks haunted.

Gilcrease House 1

We couldn’t get inside the house but we checked the gardens pretty well. We didn’t meet him or any other ghost. Lots of windows, we felt we were being watched by somebody.

Gilcrease House 3

We had a little excitement when I saw something in the window looking back at me. Turned out, it was me. How do you like the hip hop style pants? At least I got them pulled up around my waist, unlike most people who wear them.

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We had another brief excitement, but it was just SPB teasing his dad.

TPIT’s official conclusion is that Mr. Gilcrease’s ghost had taken Sunday off.

Do you believe in ghosts?

I’m hooking up with the Real Housewives of Oklahoma Into Your Neck of the Woods this week.

Open Range Shakespeare

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You know, it is 106 degrees out here, if there were any shade, and there isn’t. Lets get this show on the road!

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The audience has had all the refreshments that they can stand. Nobody has shown up yet.

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Well finally, is that him, the critter in the white coat?

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Look, both of them are coming, we can finally get started!

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Isn’t Juliette just the sweetest girl that you have ever seen?

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Truthfully though, Romeo is such an ASS, if you ask me.

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Oh  Romeo, you big baby. Get back here.

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Sorry guys, the big whiny baby has walked out. The show is cancelled. We have free treats for everybody. Check back tomorrow!

My World

Check out the 7MSN Ranch for a patriotic donkey parade.

Church Camp 2011 – Day Three

Third Day at Camp was kind of a bust. We went geocaching, or at least started to geocaching. You know some camps don’t allow electronics. Both my GPS’s started acting up and then I came across another geocacher. My my new Texas Geocaching friend.

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I’ve been asked if I put the water bottle there to show scale. Yeah, yeah, I do that kind of stuff, show scale, I mean. No, no, usually I turn around and show the snake my rear end as I leave them alone. Not for scale though.

Oh, I have to show you some of our camper’s cars. I think this one is a Ferrari:

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And this one is an Aston Martin

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You will notice that both of them are backed into the parking spots. So I hope the driver’s employers are happy.

That reminds me. There have been some John Travolta sightings around camp. Apparently he has snuck over to the Starbucks across the street to get some coffee every now and then. Now when he cannot afford the camp coffee, you know the prices have to come down. Do you think he owns one of these cars?

We had our Camp Banquet last night. I sat with my two favorite fellow campers. Sonja and her sister-in-law Sharley.

Sonja and Sharlie

They are both a couple of sweethearts although they tried their best to not to show their disappointment when I explained to them a few days ago why Sweetie and SuperPizzaBoy were not at Church Camp this year. I’ll be seeing Sonja again at the Kansas Church Camp KIOGA in Wichita in August.

So I’ll be getting up, not so bright and early, and leaving Church Camp this morning. I am looking forward to coming back next year. I’ve been to this particular church camp every year but one since 1994. So I don’t want to miss it.

Church Camp 2011 – Day Two

We are having an exciting time here at Church Camp. I’m noticing a lot.

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Our rooms are well stocked with all sorts of refreshments. Its a trap though. You take one of these and it will cost you your entire stay’s canteen account. They are teaching us how resist temptation here at Church Camp. That’s always something worth learning. There are also movie’s available that some would say are not appropriate. Yogi’s company frowns deeply on paying for inappropriate movies. So does Yogi’s wife. Of course, Yogi can’t figure out how to even operate the television so nobody has anything to worry about.

Another thing is that I notice a lot of the following:

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Everybody backs their car into parking places! Why, because the camper’s employers require it that’s why, even Yogi’s employer. Don’t ask me why backing into a space is safer than backing a car out a space because I don’t know!!! The big black oil companies like Exxon have been doing it for years. I laughed at them. Now, I’m feeling their pain. But I’m backing my car into spaces when I’m on company business.

Oh well enough of the whining and grumbling. We went on a field trip Sunday. We didn’t go to the Zoo or on a hike or to the movies or anything like that. We went to the nearby IKEA. I always though IKEA was a store. It’s not a store, it’s a church that worships cool looking Swedish Stuff. You can buy the stuff if you want.

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It is not like other stores like Walmart you walk in and waddle around here and there. Oh no, not here. They have a route that you follow with big old arrows on the floor. They route past all they have to sell from lint brushes to refrigerators.

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Everything is displayed very well. Take your camera.

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They had mockups of a 275 square foot house (below), and a 375 square foot house (above) furnished entirely with IKEA furniture, cabinets, appliances, and fixtures.

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And then I had a revelation. That’s important at Church Camp, that’s why you go, I mean besides, to get out of somebody’s hair. Why would we want such small houses? Because all our money is going to be gone that’s why. The Democrats think the government should have all your money and the Republicans think that Bank of America should have all your money. Either way, we are looking at houses in the 275 to 375 square foot range and filling it full of Swedish knick-knacks, because that is all we are going to be able to afford! So it doesn’t matter what party is in power really.

What do you think?

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Look at all these beautiful pillows. The photo is marred by all the white tags. Don’t you think the pillows would look prettier without the tags? Don’t do it!! Unless you want to end up in another camp. One that is not so much fun.

These are all well meaning citizens who took the tags off. I mean can’t they read, “Don’t Remove by Penalty of Law” it says. You can see at Church Camp we are learning to be good citizens.

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Some things at IKEA are not that good an idea. Like the above. To save the space the bathroom counter is not as deep as standard and to provide storage the mirror sticks out from the wall. The result is having to look at myself from six inches away in the morning. Not a good sight. I need my space from myself sometimes. I’m not the only one who wished they had more space from me.

(Blog friends Baloney on left, Alyssa on right)

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I couldn’t bring myself to buy anything. I was just amazed and dazed by the displays.

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Most of my fellow shoppers were amazed and dazed also.

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If you wanted furniture, you took a number and then picked it out yourself at the warehouse at the end.

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Talked about stuff stacked up high!! This was it.

Later on we were going to have a social out by the pool but just as the party got going the camp shut everything down. If there is lightning within five miles they suspend all outdoor events. Texans sure have gotten more effeminate since I lived there. In Oklahoma, we don’t actually stop a party for the weather unless the weather actually shows up.

So that’s all for Church Camp Day Two folks.