One day early this week I went over to my Subway on Cheyenne in downtown Tulsa and got my usual: 6″ roasted chicken on wheat, no cheese, pickles, onions, olives, with apple chips as a side and a Diet Doctor Pepper. It being a nice day I ventured east to our new park to eat and watch the goings on.
On my way there I was accosted by an old black man. Oh no, I said to myself here we go.
“Sir”, he said. That is how they all start out.
“Yes,” I said as I kept on walking.
“Could I talk with you just a second?”
“What about?”
“I noticed you just came out of the Subway.”
“Yep,” I’m still walking. Stopping is a no no.
“I was wondering if you had any spare change?”
“No, actually all I want to do is eat my lunch.”
“Sir, I need to get to Oklahoma City, because I want to go to Phoenix to see my sister and the ticket is $23.” and I’m thinking why do they all have to go somewhere to get somewhere else to see their sister? I’ve quit asking them.
“Like I said, I just want to eat my lunch.”
“You can look at my ID, if you want.” That’s another common statement. What would that prove?
“No, I just want to eat my lunch in peace.”
“I just need some money sir. I need to get something to eat.”
“I’ll give you my lunch, but I’m not giving you a penny.”
“I don’t want your lunch sir.”
“If you are hungry, you can have my lunch.”
“Uh, ok,” so I hand him my lunch, and then I said, “Here take the drink too.” and he gives me the best line ever.,
“You didn’t drank from it did you?”
(I didn’t, I wouldn’t have offered it to him if I had.)
Now, I’ve done similar things before, not too often. A hungry man will not exactly snatch a bag of food out of your hand but you can tell somehow by the way they they put a grip on it when you hand it to them. This guy just stood there as I walked off.
I got clear of him on the other side of the park and turned to watch him. He walked over to the campaign office of one of our mayoral candidates and walked in. “What the heck?” I don’t even want to speculate.
The whole experience left me out of sorts and irritated. I bought another lunch somewhere else and managed to eat in peace.
I’ve always liked the scripture Leviticus 23:22: ” ‘When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Leave them for the poor and the alien. I am the LORD your God.'” (NIV)
I’m not a farmer of course but I like the idea that you are to leave a little bit for others. I can afford to donate a lunch every third year or so is how it turns out.
The homeless situation really puzzles me. I don’t want to make light of the situation. It looks totally miserable and dangerous to me. I can tell you that I cannot stand to be hungry and hate that some people especially children go to bed hungry at ngiht. It just seems to me sometimes that maybe the homeless are enabled by the enterprises that support them.
I mean just in one area north of downtown Tulsa we have a homeless ghetto” The Day Center for the Homeless, the Salvation Army Shelter, John 3:16 Mission we also have the Iron Gate Ministry at Trinity Episcopal Church and of course the City County Jail.
I don’t mean that these organizations are explointing the homeless or are not genuine. I am just wondering if we are supporting the lifestyle a little too much? Should we be trying to get them employed and in an apartment rather than just feeding them and kicking them out for the night? I was trying to do some research for this post and I found it almost impossible to get unbiased hard information about how many homeless there are. Their are widely differing statistics out there most of them by homeless advocacy organizations.
I don’t know what do you think?
By the way, I think I was totally scammed. I wanted my lunch back as soon as I gave it to him. Know something else, I don’t think he wanted it! I think he threw it away. We were like mutual victims of the conversation and couldn’t take it back.
WWOD? (What would Obama do?)
WWGBD? (What would Glenn Beck do?)
Thoughtful post, Yogi.
I have done the same thing. But no scam, in a parking lot a man who looked homeless asked for a meal. I took him into the nearby fast food place and bought a burger & fries.
My feeling is that the homeless are often there because they have serious emotional, or psychological disabilities or their addictions. Whether that happens due to being on the street, or vice versa, does not matter. Being on the street, for many, is only one paycheck or job away.
You make the best decision at the time. In as much as you do it to the lest of these…
you did a good thing. It is the kind thing to do. It is in the spirit of giving.
I never give ‘spare change’ (not that I’ve lived in a city in some time), but have always taken them to a nearby spot and bought them a coffee or meal. I remember arguing with one man over whether I should buy him a coke or milk with his meal. I figured it really didn’t matter and gave in! (Silly mother, huh?!)
Place where the homeless can live (rooming houses) are dens of iniquity and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Some people manage on the streets. It is the only place they can be. Ya dun good, man!Give yourself a pat-on-the-back!
It’s frustrating. At one time, Quik Trip was good at running panhandlers away from their store fronts, but now, nearly every QT is a gaming ground for folks looking for a handout. The old “I needs $5.85 to buy gas to get to Bristow cuz my car broke down” scam. The same bizzare story line comes up way too often.
That being said, I am either a soft hearted sucker and give them a buck or two, even when my wallet is thin, or, I am an a$$hole and walk by ignoring them, or I just say NO….and then feel bad later.
If I gave a dollar to every “homeless” person who asked, it would surely exceed $150 over a year. So what to do? Run the risk of NOT entertaining angels unaware?
In the 1980’s Reagan de-institutionalized the mentally ill. Those are the majority of people on the streets. There are a few bad apples who are panhandling and could probably make their way in the world in another way but most people just can’t cope in the way that we think is normal. It used to be said that most of us are two paychecks away from homelessness. I don’t know if that’s still true but it doesn’t take much for things to go completely south. It’s hard to know what to do when someone homeless approaches. Sometimes I give something, sometimes I don’t, it depends on my mood. I did give $20 once to a family with a child, it was the child who broke my heart.
I’m with Jenn above.
Great post.
You have to go with your heart in a situation like that. You can’t worry about being scammed. Just do it. The spirit of giving is the most important thing.
For what its worth, I heard they give away one way bus tickets at one of the agencies downtown. I’ll find out which one, and post back.
Your post brought a memory of long ago, thanks for the inspiration. I linked back to your story, hope that was okay. (Not Ready For The Pasture).
By the way, you were very kind to give away your lunch 🙂
Sunny
@Jenn – I hear you. I just kind of go with my gut. Sometimes I’ll give them a quarter. I agree that they have problems. Ironically, they have rights and their rights get in the way of proper treatment.
@Mountain Mama – Here in Oklahoma Governor Keating closed many of the mental hospitals in favor of community based treatment but the funding never showed up for he community based treatment so these guys just wander around.
@Jeff – the one way bus pass idea is neat. I mean if they really do want to get somewere else.
@Sunny – sure link backs are always welcome. I’m not sure I was so kind. I just can’t stand people to go hungry. Don’t worry, I ate lunch that day myself.
I don’t like being approached by a panhandler either. It immediately puts me on the defensive. But frankly, if I passed out $150 to folks on the street it wouldn’t be much of a hardship on me. We are told to feed the hungry and also told not to judge, so maybe I should be a bit less tight-fisted.
First, the Lord loves a cheerful giver.
Second, read the book Same Kind of Different As Me – will change your life.
Third, even if he didn’t need or want your food you have set an example for humanity just by your willingness to give it to someone you THINK might be in need.
Fourth, I have heard there is a simulation for being homeless. You do all the things you think you should be able to do to dig your way out but even educated people without a disability of any type are unable to navigate their way out of the situation. Pair that with one who might have mental problems or just plain hunger (who thinks rationally when they don’t have basic needs met?) and you know that they can’t find their way out.
There may be plenty of freeloaders out there but you can’t begin to know which ones they really are.
My thoughts — since you asked.
Yogi I feel for you. Hubby and I get hit up by pan handlers almost on a daily basis. Always the same damn line of “I need 3 dollars to go to OKC to visit my sick sister”. I usually get hit up the worst at the Walmart at 91st and Lewis. I had to tell one man I would start screaming if he didn’t leave me alone. Had me backed up to the side of my truck demanding I give him spare change. I am a very short lady but let me tell you I have a mouth that makes most people cover their ears if I get mad. Oh and I had a old lady hit me up at that Walmart one day wanting a dollar. That old lady moved faster than what I could move. I never, ever give money to panhandlers for any dang reason. NEVER! I will however give money to the homeless shelters.
mutual victims of the same conversation. that is a great line.
yogi, this is only the second time i’ve heard this verse from leviticus – about the edges – and the first time was two days ago on some very low-key, home-jobby radio show. i wonder what God wants to show me. Thanks for sharing.
i have a hard time turning homeless people away, but i’ve gotten better at it. =( i always wonder though – about the angels unaware. nazarene guilt on par with catholic guilt.
We’ve discussed this sort of thing in my Sunday School class; what I’ve told them is that in my opinion, while Scripture clearly teaches that we should be merciful to the poor, it also shows us very clearly that not every person who has no money is “poor.” In particular, looking at Proverbs, it is very clear that “the fool” also has no money. “The poor” are to receive mercy; the prescription for “the fool” is the rod. There is a huge difference between helping the genuinely helpless and enabling bums. The problem is twofold: first, it really can be hard to tell the difference, and second, if you have the audacity to try to tell the difference, someone will come along and tell you that you’re being judgmental!
God doesn’t ask me to means-test those who ask. Nothing I have is really mine, anyway. And every gift of means to a person asking is also the gift of a choice for that person. I can’t save them, but I can give them one small choice along the way. And even if the panhandler (I wish there were another term for it) remains lost, that person may have received enough charity that giving charity to those even worse off becomes natural. If the panhandler is lying, that is between him and God. I can only do what God tells me to do: help.
…if you have the audacity to try to tell the difference, someone will come along and tell you that you’re being judgmental!
God doesn’t ask me to means-test those who ask.
Being judgmental, means-testing–as we say in the ESL class, same-same.
See what I mean? That didn’t even take one day.