First Annual Woolaroc Pioneer Woman Wet T Shirt Contest

Saturday, I ventured up to Frank Phillip’s ranch in Osage County (You know old Frank, the guy who started Phillips Petroleum Right?) to run in the Woolaroc 8K road race. Woolaroc is an acronym for “Woods, Lakes, and Rocks) and is the name that Mr. Phillips gave to the ranch. He is long since passed but there are lots of animals and a museum of art on the property.


I did my typical antics. I love taking pictures of people taking pictures. I was too late here, but I caught them looking at the image on the LCD screen.


I just took one picture of the race. You lose a lot of time taking pictures during a race, and it was raining. So I took just this one with my Ipod.

When you finish the race, and eat your banana, and get your Powerade they allow you into the museum for free. Not too many runners were in the museum and that is a good thing because a shocking thing was going on. The First Annual Pioneer Woman Wet Tee Shirt Contest. Sponsored by RHOC, the “Real Housewives of Osage County”. They are a wild bunch, nothing like the RHOK (“Real Housewives of Oklahoma”) who spend their time in churchly duties such as prayer, hymn singing,  Bible study, martini drinking, and sewing clothes for the poor.

The RHOC ladies organized the event and got the services of four judges.


Frank Phillips himself, of course it is his place, so you gotta ask him right?


Geronimo made the trip from Fort Sill.

(Will Rogers by Bryan Baker)

Oklahoma’s favorite son Will Rogers agreed to be a judge.Man, wouldn’t you like to hear what he thinks of Paul Ryan and Joe Biden?

Sugar for the Trail
(Sugar for the Trail by Joe Beeler)

And they picked a cowboy because, well because this is Oklahoma and you have to have a cowboy and Garth Brooks was busy. The problem was the cowboy was caught in a compromising position with one of the contestants (who yeah big surprise, if you know cowboys) who was obviously trying to influence his vote. So they were both disqualified! The lady reminds me of Miss Kitty on Gunsmoke. I don’t know about you but my childhood was ruined when I realized that Miss Kitty was a hooker. Well, I’m digressing. Sorry.

Well, I won’t go through all the contestants. You know Pioneer Women were not known for their beauty generally,except to their husbands and kids.

Jim Norris and wife, homesteaders, Pie Town, New Mexico (LOC)

So without further adieu, here are the winners. The 3rd runner up!

(Pioneer Woman by Bryant Baker)

A quite attractive, nice young woman. Her bonnet and boots are especially fetching don’t you think. Nothing like a woman who knows how to tie leather laces nice and tight.

(Pioneer Woman by H.A. McNeil)

The Second Runner Up, very lovely, even with the bare feet. I have to tell you though that the axe she carried was a little intimidating. You can see that her son likes her, a lot!

(Pioneer Woman by Arthur Lee)

The Runner Up featured a typical pioneer woman’s dress that protects her from the hot Oklahoma sun in the summer and our snowy, windy, cold winters. Plus she was exceptionally modest as her dress covered her completely down to her ankles. It is such a shame that young women these days seem to have this need to show everything they have.

(Pioneer Woman by James E. Fraser)

You know the winner had a lot to do Saturday and saw what she needed to do to win the contest and just went ahead and did it. She had to go get groceries, pick up some dry cleaning, clean the house, and cook dinner so she went All In, or maybe I should say All Out. I think the judges rewarded her pioneering spirit and her willingness to just cut to the chase. 

So, do you think the judges pick the right woman? 

I’m linking up with my friend Impulsive Addict’s Talk to Us Tuesday.

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13 thoughts on “First Annual Woolaroc Pioneer Woman Wet T Shirt Contest

  1. Gaelyn

    LOL! This is a wonderfully written piece. If I’d been a judge it would have been a hard call as all those women are stacked for a wet T-shirt.

    Did you run or just ogle the ladies? 😉

  2. Leedslass

    So funny, have you thought of writing a book? I have a feeling the order of judgment was influenced by your good self and I, for one, thoroughly approve of (your) choice.

  3. Sylvia K

    You are such a hoot!! And what great start to my gray, Seattle day — fall has finally arrived! Yep, you should think about writing a book! I have to ask the same question as Gaelyn, did you run or just ogle!! Thanks for laughs and I do love your shots!!

  4. P M Prescott

    Four (or was it 5, but one disqualified) very fetching young ladies who would fare well at Fort Lauderdale on any Spring Break. Curious, who did Geronimo vote for?

  5. Barb

    Yogi – now you’ve gone and ruined my childhood – that can’t be true about Miss Kitty. Glad you had enough strength after the run to view the contest. I’m surprised you weren’t a judge!

  6. Impulsive Addict

    I would TOTALLY win that contest right now. But I wouldn’t bare all like the winner. She is probably sleeping with the judges. What a whore.

    Thanks for linking up and calling me your friend…even tho I live in hell with people like Bubba at the Sonic.

  7. Shawn

    Such a modest slut! I think those Pioneer woman were so much more risqué than we give them credit for!

    Thanks for linking up!

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